Dumb Frogs

I realize I haven't posted anything in a LONG time. My apologies! I've decided to make up for it by posting a couple of short stories from my past.

Dumb Frogs

When I was a little girl, maybe 5, I was BIG on taking purses to church. I'm not even joking about this. There was one specific Sunday that I couldn't choose which purse to take...so I filled up 3 of them with an uncomfortable amount of trinkets and toys, just in case there was a lull in the service and I was called on for entertainment. I guess.

One Sunday night before church, I was playing outside with some of my friends, which is when I really noticed the tiny little frogs that would jump up against the building.
Where did they think they were going?
Didn't they know they were literally going nowhere?
Dumb frogs.
I don't know if I was trying to help them out or punish them, but I started catching as many as I could.  I'm not trying to brag, but I caught probably more frogs than has ever been caught in the history of 5 year old girls dressed in church clothes catching frogs. They were all put in my purse, naturally.

Then it was time for the service to start.

I went in, sat down in the second row from the front (that's the designated row for the pastor's family. Did I mention my dad was the pastor? He totally was.),  spread my dress out gracefully like the lady that I was, and sang along with the rest of the church. At one point during the service, I noticed my brand new pets weren't seeming to enjoy their new home and were trying to escape.
Dumb frogs.
Being a 5 year old, I didn't quite understand the fragility that comes with being a tiny frog and may have been just a little (a lot) rough while I was trying to put them back in their home.

Somehow, miracle of miracles, my mom didn't notice all the commotion going on at my end of the pew, which is truly extraordinary, because I was frantically smashing, grabbing, and chasing all those frogs so I could put them back where they belonged. What started off as an awesome idea and what could've been some cool pets quickly turned into a massacre.
Dumb frogs.
They were more trouble than they were worth, that's for sure!

After the service ended, I walked out, dumped the carcasses onto the ground, and didn't tell my mom anything about it for several years.
She wasn't surprised.