Toilet Paper

Growing up in Minnesota, we lived in a fairly large three-level house. Lots of rooms, our basement was a dungeon, and we had a bathroom on each level. For a family of seven, that last part was especially awesome!

During the time that we lived in that house, my brother and I had a very...well...rocky relationship. We're 6 years apart (roughly), he was a teenager and I was in middle school, we are nearly identical with our personalities, and I was the annoying younger sister who was always following him around. Sometimes he was very, very kind and allowed me to be near him when he would hang out with his friends. This usually meant that I had one job: standing in the outfield, shagging baseballs for him and whoever else was playing. I was given two pitches for every one hundred baseballs I brought back to them.

Not two HITS. Two pitches. If I missed them, too bad! Better luck next time!

Another fun activity he would allow me to be involved in was playing basketball. I use the word "playing" loosely. What he would have me do is stand post and he would work on his spin move. That was it. Me, standing in one spot for hours at a time, while he practiced his layups.

I never questioned it, though. I LOVED spending time with him!

Oh, Adam. We were always either best friends or worst enemies.

One day, I was walking past the basement steps when I heard my brother yelling for my mom. I looked around and didn't see her anywhere, so I kept on walking.

"Mom. Mom. MOM. MOOOOOOOOOM!! I NEED TOILET PAPER!"

Oh man...back up. I didn't know what to do! I couldn't see mom from where I was standing and she didn't hear Adam yelling...so that meant she couldn't help him.

It was really too bad, too, because it's the worst to be stranded with no toilet paper and no one to help you. I've been there myself plenty of times, and it sucks.

You're probably thinking, "Emily, you brought him some toilet paper, right? I mean, you could've easily helped your brother out..."

Yeah, I could've.
But I didn't want to.
So I didn't.

So what did I do then? I checked to make sure no one was watching...and I closed the door and walked away.

Oh, calm down. Keep your shirt on. Someone eventually helped him. It just wasn't me.
Because you know what? Sometimes you're on your own in life.
Somedays you're the pigeon, somedays you're the statue.